Suspended Animation

I'm feeling pretty discouraged by my current situation. Today I went to the library to return some books and rather quickly found myself on the sixth floor enjoying the teacher resource section. I found some really interesting books including one entitled, "Should We Burn Babar?". It is a collection of essays about children's literature and "the power of stories in education." The essay I started reading is about classic stories that (beloved though they may be) include outdated messages in need of challenge. I am completely intrigued by this essay, and I am completely devouring this book.

So I'm reading this book and getting all fired up about educational questions and I'm thinking about how much I want to get into the classroom and teach. I feel like in a classroom I have the great potential to be a more entusiastic, more creative version of myself. I legitimately care so much about my students and their progress and seeing them finally "get it". And when I start thinking about how much I love teaching, I am filled with the frustration of my unemployment. Try as I might to send resumes, I have heard nothing. Despite my great efforts and my labouring over the exact phrasing of a cover letter, no one seems to want me. I just wish there was some way for potential employers to know that I really am exactly what they are looking for.


While at the library, I also checked out two other books. Books that I don't really want to read. Books that cause me to cringe with an undeniable feeling of failure in simply checking them out.
"Mastering the Art of Substitute Teaching" and "The Subsititute Teaching Survival Guide"

This is not what I want my life to be again this year. I do not want to have another year of standing still while my friends complete their second year of teaching. But what more can I do?